Protecting Our Young Techno Sapiens

In May 2023, the US Surgeon General declared a youth mental health crisis, citing social media as the primary driving factor. Of course, that would make any parent terribly frightened about their kid’s social media use. Luckily, psychologists and other researchers have been investigating the potential benefits and harmful effects of social media. Let’s look at what the research actually says. Does the research show that social media is causing a mental health crisis in adolescents? Social media usage is not inherently beneficial or harmful to youth. In fact, although the research shows that there is a correlation between lower mental health in teens and social media usage, there are very limited studies, to date, that show a direct causation. In other words, there are several factors influencing the effects of social media on adolescents’ mental health. Imagine this as an equation: (Social media content + features + functions) + (Teens’ pre-existing strengths + vulnerabilities + context in which they grew up [values, ideologies, family dynamics] = Effects of social media on adolescent’s mental health At what age should we give kids access to social media? There is no concrete age. Sorry! The reason is because adolescent development occurs gradually and is continuous, starting with observable biological and neurological changes around the age of 10 and continuing through approximately 25-30. Therefore, use of social media should be based on level of maturity (ability to self-regulate, intellectual abilities, understanding of risks and consequences) and home environment. In general, potential risks of social media practice are likely to be greater in early adolescence Are there any benefits to social media? Despite the risks of social media use, there are some benefits. Social media platforms allow individuals to connect with friends or develop new friendships. Similarly, social media platforms offer spaces for social support, expose children to different cultures and other variables that can encourage self-identity exploration, allow kids to discover new interests and even participate in civic engagement. What are the recommendations for social media for kids and teens? Starting to coach your child about social media around 8-9 years-old is suggested and not the same as allowing them to use it. Coaching means you are continuously opening and reviewing a discussion with them about how social media should be used. As pre-adolescents transition into their adolescent journey, adults should continue to help grow their social media literacy. Kids should learn how to question the accuracy and representativeness of social media content, understand that tactics are used to overgeneralize or disseminate mis-information, identify signs of problematic social media use, and comprehend how social media content and images influence social comparisons. When you introduce your child to the idea of social media, take time to thoroughly explain your beliefs about how social media should be used. Research shows that the emphasis of its use should be the development of their own healthy socialization. Take the time to explain to your child what each feature means, such as the ‘like’ button, discuss why it is important to have restricted time limits, and why endless scrolling is unfavorable. Similarly, be mindful of who receives the notices and alerts, such as about changes to privacy policies or consents (is it going to your email address or theirs?). Lastly, make your child explicitly aware of how their social media behavior will be used as data that can be stored or shared with others. Supervising adults should access the settings on each of the social platforms to limit the content to which the child is exposed. Here is a helpful and practical guide on how to limit access to harmful content: https://www.rainn.org/articles/how-filter-block-and-report-harmful-content-social-media Again, monitoring and continuously discussing online content with your children also reduces the effects of exposure to harmful content on youth’s mental health. Ask your child what they think about your social media use. Are you demonstrating excessive use? Is social media interfering with your ability to be present? Can you try to mirror to your child how often and in what way you would like them to use social media? In order to do that, you should make clear everything that is a priority. Priority activities are subjective to your family’s values and beliefs, but can include, reading, exercise, spending in-person time with friends and family, and completing academic work. Of course, sleeping and eating should be demonstrated and explicitly explained as the most important priorities to supporting positive mental health development. Originally Published in Pascack Valley City Lifestyle, August 2023 Issue Written By: Dr. Carol Chu-Peralta, Ph.D., Director and FounderPublished By: Pascack Valley City Lifestyle
When life gives you lemons: A bittersweet adage with a twist!

Dr. Carol Chu-Peralta, Ph.D “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” are commonplace words of encouragement in response to someone having a bad day or experiencing an unexpected, aversive event. Delivered with the best intentions, and yet it is a platitude that can be (un)helpful. If we interpret this well-intended idea rigidly, then this class adage can feel quite discouraging. The idea of just continuing with your day can make you feel guilty for being uncomfortable with the unanticipated event, in which case the well-meaning advice does not produce positivity and optimism. Perseverance can be magical and effective! However, it is not the always-best approach for getting through all “bad” situations. Healthy optimistic thinking often entails the dialectic of accepting what is out of our control and adapting our responses (changing)to obstacles. This mindset introduces the belief that there can be multiple options for navigating a problem. Knowing that there are options can help you adapt to life’s unexpected hiccups. Here are some alternatives for what to do with life’s lemons:1. Ask yourself, “Are these actually lemons?” Let’s say you were making empanadas, only to discover mid-way that you do not have enough chicken! Frustrating, indeed. Now, before making lemonade out of this situation, take a pause and see if this even really is a problem. You were not expecting to runout of a main ingredient, but is having to try out a different ingredient such a bad thing in this case? It does not have to alter your dinner or cooking experience. You still get to eat empanadas. 2. Don’t take the lemons and bail! Ever been honked at in traffic when it’s not budging? Just because you’re given lemons, does not mean you have to embrace them. Instead, we can practice taking a moment to breathe and then leave those lemons there! You can walk away, because honestly, those are not even your lemons to make lemonade out of. If a person is so overwhelmed with anger that they lash out at you, it is not your responsibility to assuage their reactions. 2. Don’t take the lemons and bail! Ever been honked at in traffic when it’s not budging? Just because you’re given lemons, does not mean you have to embrace them. Instead, we can practice taking a moment to breathe and then leave those lemons there! You can walk away, because honestly, those are not even your lemons to make lemonade out of. If a person is so overwhelmed with anger that they lash out at you, it is not your responsibility to assuage their reactions. 3. Return those lemons! When life’s lemons are in the form of added work when you don’t have the bandwidth, for example, then make life take those lemons back. You do not have to passively accept the lemons! You can take action by practicing self-advocacy by giving those lemons back and asking for what you need out of the situation. 4. Arnold Palmer, anyone? Sometimes our sour lemons cannot be returned or bailed on. Sometimes we will have to make lemonade, but we can always add a magical touch (cue in the iced tea) and respond to an unexpected event in an unexpected way. If you cannot work because of an injury, you do not just have to look on the bright side (lemonade), you can use the newfound free time to learn a hobby or skill (Arnold Palmer).When circumstances do not align with your expectations, it can throw anyone out of kilter, but taking a brief moment tore-center yourself can re-establish balance and supplant frustration with gratitude. To find out more about compassionate and evidence based therapy for healing, trauma, anxiety, and depression please contact us at 201-661-3375. Written By: Dr. Carol Chu-Peralta, Ph.D., Director and FounderPublished By: Park Ridge Living